Not Mauritian, No Commission

This is Alf’s catchphrase.

Along with “Moi, mo Mauritien rouge, moi!”

This translates from Creole to “I’m a red Mauritian”, and refers to his propensity to turn scarlet in extreme heat, and is a play-on-words of the Creole name for Franco-Mauritians (descendants of the original colonists) which is Mauritien blanc, or white Mauritian.

Either way, very clever, Alf. You’re a funny guy!

Anyway, commission!

Everybody wants it.

“You’re looking for a piece of land to buy? No problem, I’ll show you my cousin’s block if you pay me commission.”

“You want to catch a taxi to Port Louis? No problem, Madame, if you’ll only stop at this factory shop so I can get paid commission for bringing you here. You don’t even have to buy anything – just look. Although if you did buy something that would be even better. I’ve got all these little mouths to feed, you see. And my cousin just died.”

It’s all a bit annoying – what happened to doing someone a favour, or just doing your frigging job!

Anyway – let me just calm down here – after a while, whenever Alf offered someone something, he started adding:

“Hey don’t worry – not Mauritian, no commission!”

Unless of course, it’s a very hot day, and he turns into a Mauritien rouge!

And hey, fellow expats, feel free to comment anytime!