Not Mauritian, No Commission

This is Alf’s catchphrase.

Along with “Moi, mo Mauritien rouge, moi!”

This translates from Creole to “I’m a red Mauritian”, and refers to his propensity to turn scarlet in extreme heat, and is a play-on-words of the Creole name for Franco-Mauritians (descendants of the original colonists) which is Mauritien blanc, or white Mauritian.

Either way, very clever, Alf. You’re a funny guy!

Anyway, commission!

Everybody wants it.

“You’re looking for a piece of land to buy? No problem, I’ll show you my cousin’s block if you pay me commission.”

“You want to catch a taxi to Port Louis? No problem, Madame, if you’ll only stop at this factory shop so I can get paid commission for bringing you here. You don’t even have to buy anything – just look. Although if you did buy something that would be even better. I’ve got all these little mouths to feed, you see. And my cousin just died.”

It’s all a bit annoying – what happened to doing someone a favour, or just doing your frigging job!

Anyway – let me just calm down here – after a while, whenever Alf offered someone something, he started adding:

“Hey don’t worry – not Mauritian, no commission!”

Unless of course, it’s a very hot day, and he turns into a Mauritien rouge!

And hey, fellow expats, feel free to comment anytime!


4 thoughts on “Not Mauritian, No Commission

  1. Despite being irritated by these ‘local customs’ you describe them with such good humour that indicates you still have some love for the place. I hope that’s right! Maybe the ‘system’ they work under prevents locals from earning a decent living without having to resort to ‘commissions’ or is everyone just on the take? Then, as Kathy says, it wasn’t like that when she lived there! Where do you put the blame, tourism, low wages or the importation of a culture from India?

    • It’s a bit of everything you’ve mentioned, but basically, I think it’s greed. Everyone wants to get rich quick. Modern times! And I haven’t even touched on the culture of bribery yet!

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