This isn’t so much a wish-list, as a list of things I will definitely get around to making.
When I work out how to.
When it comes to making things, my motto, to paraphrase a travel ad for Australia’s Northern Territory, is:
“If you never have a go, you’ll never, never know!”
I’ve got no clue how to make things – I get an idea, google it, stare off into space a lot, then when new thoughts stop coming, I try it.
If it doesn’t work out, all I’ve wasted is time and a little expense.
When it does work out, I’m thrilled and I have a new thing to sit and stare at for hours.
I like staring.
Concrete Head Planters
I love them. I want them. I can picture them basking in the sun and tossing back their succulent hair.
How will I make them? No idea.
I’ve never sculpted and wouldn’t know where to start.
So, first thoughts are:
- Buy foam mannequin heads, slice the top of the heads off, and remove the insides
- Attach them to a wide hollow base so they don’t topple over, but can still drain
- Cover it all with a thin concrete mix (very technical!)
- Do some minimal sculpting to re-emphasise the features.
- Rub dirt into them so they don’t look like cement. Or maybe add dirt to the cement, or concrete stain if there’s such a thing here
More research required. Lots more.
Or a better idea.
I cut this picture out of a newspaper many, many years ago, so excuse the photo quality – it didn’t scan very well:
They’re made out of rusty metal, and the rosettes are succulents.
I can make the pattern – I’ll use a pair of my own shoes as the basis for a template.
Then I’ll go searching for an artisan called a ferblantier (tinsmith). They make household things like my watering can:
Concrete Statue – My Plus-Size Diva
A frustrated and disappointed artist (I’m guessing!) dumped this outside the premises of our old café. I left her there for about 6 months in case they came back for her. They didn’t, and no-one else took her, so now she’s mine.
She needs arms:
- I’ll drill holes where they’re broken off, and epoxy a bunch of twisted wire in. When it dries, I can bend them to shape. Might have to break off more of her arm as it’s at the wrong angle for what I want to do
This is the pose I want, but with her other hand on her hip:
- Then I’ll wrap the wires and top of the arms in chicken wire to get the thickness I need
- I’ll slather the whole thing with concrete and try to sculpt them into arms.
She doesn’t have to be perfect – just not a double amputee.
She needs a bigger head, a face, better boobs and hair (a slurry cement mixture, or so I’ve read, and some sculpting), and a more defined derièrre (filing with a rasp?).
Then she gets a tan, golden brown hair, bright red lips and fingernails (if she has fingers – she might just get lumps for hands – I’ll see what my skill levels are), and either a brightly patterned bikini or one-piece – will decide once she has arms and a face.
A purple base to tie her in with the rest of the garden, a few coats of exterior varnish, and voila!
Or, I might not like her, and dump her in front of someone else’s café.
If you can help with any of these projects, believe me, I’d be thrilled to hear from you.